How “I Saw the TV Glow” Explores the Universal Struggles of Identity and Trauma
Terra Mae Gasque, a TSRB researcher in Georgia Tech’s Digital Media Department, brings a unique perspective to her analysis of I Saw the TV Glow (2024), written and directed by Jane Schoenbrun. In her essay, Gasque delves into the film’s complex portrayal of trans identity, trauma, and the search for self, offering a profound exploration of how these themes resonate with both cis and trans audiences. A central concept in her analysis is the “egg crack” moment— a colloquial term within the trans community that refers to the initial, often painful realization of one’s true gender identity. This moment marks the break from denial, when the “shell” of self-deception begins to crack, forcing individuals to confront the truth of their identity. Gasque uses this metaphor to illustrate the film's key emotional and narrative turning point.
I Saw the TV Glow follows roughly 30 years of the life of Owen, a young man struggling with alienation and later grief after the death of his mother. He forms a bond with Maddy, a fellow outcast who shares a common interest in a mysterious late-night TV show, The Pink Opaque. The show’s supernatural themes mirror the characters' struggles, particularly Maddy, who eventually undergoes a transformative and painful experience that leads her to believe The Pink Opaque is the actual reality. As the story unfolds, Maddy’s desire to awaken Owen to this truth leads to a dramatic series of events, leaving Owen in an emotionally and existentially fraught state.
In her analysis, Gasque highlights the significance of the moment when The Pink Opaque becomes "more real than real life" for Maddy. This transcendent experience reflects the core of the trans journey, where "The Pink Opaque was reality." Gasque discusses how Maddy's quest to awaken Owen to this reality echoes the tension between personal liberation and societal constraints, rendering the “egg crack” metaphor a poignant symbol for self-discovery in the face of oppressive norms.
Gasque also highlights the film’s unique portrayal of identity rejection, contrasting typical queer-positive narratives. She observes that Owen ultimately rejects both potential identities: being a closeted queer individual or embracing the heroic narrative of one of The Pink Opaque’s main characters, Isabel. In Gasque’s words, I Saw the TV Glow "does a disservice to queer people who are not in control of whether that work can be done," emphasizing the complexities of identity that cannot always follow a linear path toward healing or resolution. The rejection of these identities by Owen, and his subsequent attempt to preserve the “status quo”, becomes a tragic yet real reflection of the difficulties faced by many in the queer community.
The comparison Gasque draws between Owen's journey and Jordan Peele's Get Out (2017) further deepens the film's psychological horror. She draws parallels between the "Sunken Place" in Get Out and Owen's dissociative state, suggesting that both represent the feeling of being trapped in one's mind. As Gasque notes, this sensation is a frequent experience for individuals undergoing dysphoria or dissociation. The "spectator within one's own mind" becomes a recurring motif, highlighting the internal battle many trans individuals face when grappling with their identities and the external forces attempting to shape them.
Gasque also introduces the concept of "passionate ambivalence," which encapsulates the conflicting emotions of disconnection and survival. This concept perfectly describes Owen's inability to act, reflecting the survival mechanism often adopted by those facing immense internal turmoil. The emotional numbness that defines Owen's existence is a form of self-preservation, allowing him to cope with the chaos of his unacknowledged or suppressed identity.
In her critique, Gasque emphasizes that the film ultimately offers hope in its unconventional ending. While many queer narratives end with a moment of healing or growth, I Saw the TV Glow diverges from this path. Gasque suggests that "eggs hatch on their own time," acknowledging that queer identity formation is non-linear and that the greatest source of joy lies in the freedom to navigate one's journey outside the confines of traditional expectations.
Ultimately, the essay challenges the audience to rethink how queer and trans identities are depicted in mainstream media, offering a fresh perspective on the narrative complexity of I Saw the TV Glow. The film's refusal to provide clear answers or a neatly tied-up conclusion resonates deeply with the trans experience, where the search for identity and self-acceptance is often a complex and ongoing process. Moreover, Gasque underscores that the themes of trauma, dissociation, and survival techniques extend far beyond the trans experience. The film, while specifically resonant with trans and queer identities, speaks to universal human struggles: the pain of identity disruption, the survival mechanisms we adopt in the face of trauma, and the adaptive techniques individuals use to cope with a world that often fails to make room for them. Everyone can relate to navigating an existence shaped by external forces and the need to find one’s path to healing, even if that path is not linear or fully defined.